Singaporean men, you claim you would need a handbook to understand us, and today, taadaa, I’ve just made one for you.
*DISCLAIMER* These notes apply to the average Singaporean girl, in this case a girl between 18 to mid-20s who comes from a middle-income family and is considered a normal chick by her peers. (If her friends hate her and bitch about her… RUN FOREST RUN!) If you’re dating an underaged girl the rules are completely different. If you’re dating an early 30s and upwards woman, the rules, as mentioned, are completely different as well. Also, all these points are my own opinions and thoughts. So don’t be hatin’ on the women populace. *DISCLAIMER*
Approach all these with an open mind, and you might find that they are all simple, understandable notes.
"IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME WHERE I WANT TO EAT FOR DINNER I WILL LOSE MY MIND." - I have said this to my own boyfriend a hundred times.
Aren’t men supposed to be the man of the house? The leader of the family and the king of the remote control? I don’t know about you, but I’m old fashioned in that I prefer the man to lead. I will gently nudge you in the right direction from behind.
In short: Manliness is when you make a stand and stick with it. It’s sexy.
Make decisions when you guys go out, it shows that you wear the pants in the relationship, and when she whines that she wants to go somewhere else, then you should graciously follow where she wants to go. See, this means you still wear the pants, but you’re kind and generous enough to give in to your lady. You become the bigger man! Isn’t that better? You look better! If she really has a place she wants to go in mind, SHE WILL SAY IT. We not shy, cause we know you will do anything to make us happy cause you love us. Right? Right?
Most importantly, if you made up your mind about something, stick with it. Don’t be wishy-washy and change your mind. That’s our job.
Honestly, I can’t stress this enough. Singaporean girls, plenty of them are quite manja. They want to be pampered and taken care of, so if you’re looking to attract a girl, MAKE decisions and learn more about her so that you can make decisions to SUIT HER TASTES. No more complaints, no more arguments. Or fewer lah.
2) Pro-activeness and consistency.
"I’M NOT STAYING HOME TO WATCH YOU PLAY ASSASSIN’S CREED ANOTHER NIGHT." - date nights gone awry.
There comes a point in the relationship when the romantic dates trickle away, and he stops planning dates and you get mad. You find both of yourselves staying home a lot because he is “tired” all the time and he can’t decide where to go.
In short: If you don’t plan, you’re not a man.
Women can multi-task right? Which means that if they have nothing to do, nowhere to go and no one to take care of they will get bored. And grumpy. Really, it’s important to set aside time for your SO at least once a week to do something out of the ordinary and different. It doesn’t have to be a new restaurant every week, but it has to be something new. Or explore a place you haven’t been to in a while.
Pack a picnic, take a walk on the beach. Explore Haw Par Villa if you haven’t done so in 15 years. Head to JB for supper or even bring her to your favourite childhood mama shop to buy some barang. At least be proactive in saying, “let’s do something different today.” and be consistent by making sure you keep the romance alive at least once a week. You’ll find your SO smiling a lot more.
3) Keep your promises.
"YOU SAID YOU WOULD FIX THE TOILET DOOR. YOU PROMISED THAT YOU’LL FIX IT." - A frustrating argument that will just set both parties on fire.
Never cheap talk. If you promise your SO something you better do it. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t mention it at all. Don’t back out and don’t change your mind.
In short: If we promise by our pinky, keep the promise or I’ll break your winky… I mean your Dick.
We understand when certain circumstances prevent you from fulfilling your promise. We understand. But if you simply change your mind or forget we will get frustrated and we will NOT understand. As your SO, we’re trusting you with important things and in not being able to keep a simple promise, how can we know that you’ll be trustworthy enough for us to put our trust in you? Think of it this way, if you and a bro make plans to meet every week for a beer and he keeps bailing on you, would you want to call him out still?
Yeah, you won’t. You’d move on.
4) Personal space.
"I JUST NEED A FEW MINUTES ALONE." - Usually happens after an argument.
Contrary to popular belief, women don’t need to be in your presence 24/7. Clingly males piss us off. And trust me, mysteriousness is sexy. And when she’s mad, give her time. Especially after an argument, when both of you need time to cool off, give each other some space!
In short: The tighter you hold on, the more you’ll find her slipping away.
But gentlemen, everything in moderation yes? Give each other space for some quality me-time but still find time for each other at the time. Overly clingly men who need to know where you are 24/7 and who have no friends of their own just tells us women that without us you’re pretty much an invalid. Be independent, take some time out to have football games with your friends or a beer or two. Trust me, when you get home, your SO will welcome you home with open arms. Give each other time to miss each other as well.
Give a girl some breathing room!
5) Financial stability
"SERIOUSLY. WHY AM I ALWAYS LENDING YOU MONEY? AND SOMEHOW I FIND THAT I’M PAYING FOR ALL OUR MEALS." - extreme situation when the man has nothing but a 20c coin in his wallet. Then you carry wallet for what??
Okay, this is a very touchy subject, first there’s is no official definiation of financial stability, but personally I define financial stability as the ability to afford the things necessary to live your lifestyle of choice. Hence, it changes with your lifestyle choices. If you’re a student, and you can afford to live like one (frugal etc) then good for you. But if you’re a working adult and you can’t afford to live your lifestyle of choice (e.g. if you’re a party person who open’s bottles at every club every night) then I assume you are NOT financially stable and that you have no sense.
In short: Live - as my mother constantly reminds me - according to your means.
This applies to relationships in the biggest sense, if you have promised your SO a certain lifestyle and you can’t afford to provide it for her, you’ll have a very unhappy SO on your hands. If you have a girlfriend who wants the world from you and a branded bag every week, sorry lah, your ah kong better be rich or you better earn a five-figure sum every week.
Women simply hope that the man they choose to be with can provide and take care of them. Financial stability simply means: Being able to provide for her and to pamper your SO once in a while.
Anyways guys, thanks for reading. I hope I clarified something for you. Don’t get into a relationship without knowing all this. If not you’re going to have some really unhappy arguments. It takes two calm, level-headed people to get out of an argument, if you’re in an adult relationship, behave like adults yeah. Discuss, don’t use words to hurt each other.